She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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