If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
