I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
