I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
