When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize