his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize