Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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