I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i came on her dog
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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