I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
