jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
