S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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