I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Randomize
