I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
