do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
