that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
