what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
