it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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