Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
