Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
