i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
