at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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