do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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