either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
ttyl tear gas
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
