If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
