i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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