Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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