Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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