Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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