Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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