two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
