he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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