Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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