How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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