Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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