Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
