his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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