i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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