Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
