One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
