He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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