Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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