one two three fourrrrnication!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
