Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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