I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
