So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
