she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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