i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize