yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
