OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
