One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i will never coherently bang her
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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