Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
