I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
