Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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