My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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