sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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