i jhust puked up my retainher.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
