I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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