Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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