today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
